I am a facilitator of
Love and Logic Parenting Courses and I love teaching these classes to parents throughout Utah. I have taught three in the last year, and I am so thrilled that I was just offered to facilitate another in Sandy! (Finally, something is looking up!) But all that information is just to preface what I would really like to document today.
I used Love and Logic on my husband last Sunday. :-)
Jonathan has sooo many strengths. One of those strengths is NOT punctuality. Now, it's not like I am great at being on time. However, I am better at it than Jon. And Sunday after Sunday after Sunday, I felt like MOTHER. Trying to wake him up, (he is still under the false belief that he can get ready in about fifteen minutes. This theory of his has been proven untrue basically every Sunday we have shared in our marriage) waiting in the car, and continually walking in late to sacrament meeting. And week after week, "Sorry Rach. I'll be on time next week." Well words weren't cutting it anymore. His late habit had to be broken. And with me walking in to sacrament meeting in a crabby mood so often, I decided it was time to utilize in my personal life what I teach in Love and Logic parenting courses. :-)
Especially when we discovered that our ward begins at 8:30 am.
Ready for this?
1) Ownership of the Problem: what can I control and not control?
Saturday evening around 7pm. (The conversation went something like this...)
Rach: "Husband, I love you. And I would like to take the sacrament tomorrow in a happier spirit rather than being so grouchy about being late. Does that sound fair to you?"
Jon: "Of course that sounds fair, Sweetheart."
Rach: "Good, I'm so glad. So here's what I've come up with. Our car will be leaving tomorrow at 8:20am with or without you in it. I love you."
2) Hope that your child (in my case, husband) blows it. Opportunity for thinking/decision making.
Sunday morning, I get up and get ready for church. By 8:00 am, Jon is still sleeping. 8:10 rolls around, and he's so peaceful in our bed. I smile to myself. This is going to be a great day.
8:15 - He gets up and starts running around. I am a little disappointed but also very happily enjoying myself
as I wasn't playing MOTHER today.
8:20 - I give him a kiss and walk out the door.
And as I walked into our parking garage, I heard frantic, pounding footsteps in the apartment floor above me. Ah, that would be my husband running around. Jon barely made it to the car before I turned the corner. With shaver, socks, and shoes in his hands he jumps in and remarks "You're awesome." (I think deep down inside he wants to break this Hawaiian habit of his.) And I was in the best mood I've ever been in on a Sunday morning. What a lovely, refreshing day!
So he made it the first week. What happened last week, you wonder?
Saturday night before bed.
Rach: "Hey Babe. You remember our deal, right? Our car leaves at 8:20, with or without you in it?"
Jon: "Yeah yeah I remember." (Taking me less seriously this time????)
3) Follow through with loving action.
Sunday at 8:23, I walked out the door and left a man still enjoying his breakfast. Love in my heart, of course. Malice is not endorsed by any Love and Logic facilitator. And it's not like I didn't miss that handsome man of mine, as I walked into the meeting alone and sang the opening hymn without the accompaniment of his pleasant voice. He managed to hitch a ride with a friendly neighbor. And as he sat down next to me on the pew, with a smile on his face he said, "Wow. I'm never going to be late again."
I guess we'll see.
He certainly improved his punctuality this morning for stake conference. Granted, that started at 10:00 AM.
Maybe the funniest part of all is that as I turned the corner last Sunday and pulled out onto the road in front of our complex, Jon opened the door and we straight up made eye contact. What did I do? I drove right on. Thank you, Love and Logic. Putting the fun back into parenting, and guiding children (and spouses!!!) to be more responsible.
