Sassy Ms. Amberly at 15 Months

But really, I should probably enter you into some kind of baby photo contest when you pull expressions like this...

(You ran out of your bottle of milk)

Mama trying to mimic your scowl...we had to go the Instacare after Daddy rolled his ankle playing basketball; you were concerned we were there for you since you've been sick so much.

"Take this hat off me RIGHT NOW!!"

Favorite words to say:
Ma ma ma ma
Da da da da
Ba ba ba ba
You also love to roll and play with your tongue when you babble = DARLING

Our Favorite "Amberly" Tricks:
'Where are you eyes?' And you either squint or blink your eyes
Daddy says 'Fold arms?' And to our delight you fold your arms too cutely
Your "Itsy Bitsy Spider" fingers; you love that song
Giving us high fives
Playing "Patty Cake" with you
Showing us your hands
Bonking heads with daddy when he says "Uh BONK!" it's hilarious

Weight: 20.5 lbs 10th % (This was surprising, but you've lost weight with being sick twice this winter..SIGH)
Height: 30.5 inches 50th%
Head: 18 inches 50th%

On a walk with Aunty Mary and your baby doll brings the smiles back to life!

You are more snuggly than ever, which only adds to the joy you bring your parents. Mama especially loves when you give her koala bear hugs, or fall asleep in that position on her chest. She feels closest to heaven when you are sleeping soundly in her arms. This can also be a rather tricky age, however. You definitely know when you want something, but still don't know how to express it in words. And when you are sick, our entire household is miserable! It's the worst.

You understand the words hair, eyes, nose, fingers, hand, leg. feet, toes, arm, blanket, binky, hot, fire, Grandma, Grandpa, Ellie (her favorite show on mama's phone) food, milk, story, sleep, bye bye, stand, wave, walk, outside, baby, balloon, duck, cupcake, flower, monkey, doggie, cat, bunny, alligator, lion, tiger, to name just a few.

You are smarty smart smart (that's from your Daddy's genes, no doubt!) and you still cannot get enough books into one day. I could read to you for hours on end and you'd never get sick of it. James Dashner, author of The Mazerunner, lives in our ward and he won you over in church on Sunday by holding you on his lap and reading to you. I thought that was pretty cute!

At 15 months, you are so close to walking but still lacking the courage to take that first step! Your peers have left you in the dust when it comes to this milestone, but you also took awhile to graduate from your army crawl to an actual baby crawl, so we'll just keep being patient.

Funny enough, you are a total rockstar at climbing up our entire staircase to the main floor, and Daddy even taught you how to come down safely. So while you are not yet walking without assistance, you are cruising up and down our staircase.

You are sassy, little Ms. Independent especially when it comes to feeding yourself. If it's not finger food or something you can eat independently, forget about it. Soup, for example, is out of the picture until you can do it yourself. You have to hold the fork/spoon and you are pretty awesome when you use it. A couple weeks ago you used your own bowl and spoon eating your oatmeal and Mama was oh so proud.

Once upon a time, you were actually a clean eater. Those days are long gone.

Ready to eat again after that nasty parainfluenza left your little body.

You are int he 10th percentile for your weight, pretty petite. So we've managed to get you hooked on whole milk and nutrient rich Greek yogurt with added fat to help you gain some weight. 

Little drunken sailor

Okay we didn't really let you drink the maple syrup, although I have a feeling you would have loved it...

You are one of grandma's very favorite people, and you adore her. Here you are cheering her on at physical therapy while she exercises her knee.

 So this was too funny of a moment for me to not take a picture. Daddy was in a hurry to get you to me at a family baptism in Idaho. You were delivered to me with a backwards onesie, pajama pants instead of regular pants, and mittens for socks. Oh Daddy. Well, he tried??
I took care of it.

The theatre room is your playground. You love to climb on and all around the chairs.

"Don't even think about taking my duckies, or taking me out of my bath for that matter..."

Ducky hoarder

You love bath time so much, you cry when I have to take you out. You're still using your little blue tub, otherwise you just slide around the slippery tub and get frustrated. 

That one day when you met static electricity...

And you remember Aunt Britney every time she comes over. Today is an emotional day, as it's Uncle Seth's birthday. I'm glad you wanted her to hold you and that you gave her some extra snuggles.

You are getting more and more fun and although I didn't think it possible, more and more adorable. You are seriously the cutest little person! Mama and Daddy LOVE you, and you're getting better skilled about showing us you love us back. We can't imagine our lives without you.

Love you Little Goosey Goose.
-Mama

Returning to that Burdened Road

I just called and scheduled a new consult with my wonderful infertility doctor, Dr. Russell Foulk.

I called two days ago to see how far the clinic is booked out and as I suspected, I cannot get an appointment until March. Rather unexpectedly, a weight of sadness loomed over my shoulders all day yesterday. I suppose I have taken the first step towards that dark tunnel again, albeit this time there is a glimmer of light within. We know what worked last time, we received answers at our very first appointment, we know we can get pregnant. 

So why should I feel such a heavy weight of sorrow this time around? Especially when my arms are not empty and waiting this time. Just look at this sweet little miracle.

Infertility is a tricky thing, an emotional ride to say the least. I think stepping back into the lengthy process with its upcoming invasive tests and procedures returned my psyche and my emotions to a place that I was happy to forget. Furthermore, the sadness enters when I realize Jon cannot be with me to the majority of my appointments this time around due to his long commute for work and the nature of being a lawyer. We're real big kids now. He can't just leave the judges for a midday doctor's appointment with his wife. A little voice tells me that if I want to fight for baby number 2, I'll have to go most of it alone. Just me and Dr. Foulk and his staff to create another miracle. Oh and God, of course.

I feel another little one beyond the veil, anxious to join our family. Perhaps she is spending extra time with her Uncle Seth. Yes, I said she.

I have been reading this book, The Gift of Giving Life, lately and it awakens my soul and brings me great comfort in trusting in my Heavenly Father's timing. I LOVE this book. It touches on all aspects of pregnancy and birth, including sections written for all our sisters who for one reason or another, are told to wait.

Read this portion of the chapter entitled "And God Remembered Rachel" from Genesis 30:22 (yes I do take that biblical verse close to heart:)

The prominent women of the book of Genesis are as follows:

Eve, Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel. Of these prominent women in the book of Genesis, only Eve does not suffer from infertility. Genesis is chock full of God's chosen women suffering from want of children. In each case, she is a woman whom God directed a prophet to find and marry. She is a woman who was promised that her seed would bear rulers and kings. She is a woman who was loved by God.

God cherishes each of his daughters, including those who struggle to get pregnant or cannot bear their own children during mortality. This is what I must remind myself of as I step back on this roller coaster of a ride. This burdened road is not fun; but whenever the sorrow attempts to creep in, I'll look at my beloved daughter and say a prayer of gratitude rather than allow that heavy weight to linger. I will reflect on what a blessing it is that Jon has a job with sufficient health insurance benefits to allow us to move forward with treatments. I will contemplate the current technology we have to help couples who cannot get pregnant on their own. I will fight again and I will move forward. 

And I will play and giggle with my Amberly Faith, until God's perfect timing unfolds and proves His miracle.