I have had so many thoughts regarding Valentine's Day and I felt the need to share. My husband was sick yesterday and stayed home from work feeling downright lousy. We had a dinner date scheduled but had to reschedule so Jon could actually have an appetite and enjoy the meal when we go out. I am the type of gal that's all about festivities. I am sure I got this from my mama, as did my older brother who is equally passionate about love and traditions and family. I made sure to secretly buy Jon some of his favorite things and hide them so Amberly and I could surprise him on Valentine's Day.
On Valentine's Day yesterday, I tried my best to focus outward. (As a good friend of mine exclaimed, "Arrows out, Baby!") I knew that I would be receiving nothing from my husband on the actual national holiday of celebrating those you love, so I kept busy. I dressed my girls up all festive and adorable to make my heart happy. I gave them extra cuddles throughout the day. I taught my kickboxing class and told many women they are beautiful and their bodies are good. I encouraged them to focus on helping others feel loved throughout the day. I taught two dance classes with the sweetest little girls ages 3-6 and we had a party that involved way too much sugar. I came home and surprised my husband with the gifts I had bought him the week before the big day of love.
I was doing great! And then, I looked at my Instagram feed.
Is there a truer statement than this?
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Of course social media would be filled with my friends showcasing how their husbands spoiled them and showered them with an exceeding outpouring of love that day. And in that moment of my own foolishness, I forgot. I forgot so much of the good in my life.
Jon is not one to publicly and grandiosely proclaim his love and devotion for those he loves.
But I'll tell you what Jon is. He is a family man.
He is the man who partners with me every day to give our girls a happy, stable, life.
He is the man that commuted five days a week from South Jordan to Ogden for three years, just to hold out for a job that would allow him to spend ample time with his three girls while providing for us.
He most certainly is a family man.
He is the type of man that will take me dancing just to bring a smile on my face. And he always spoils me on my birthday, which is just a month before Valentine's Day. (I am so high maintenance, right?)
He is the guy that loves to plan and take me on adventures whenever we go on vacation.
That one time he made me snorkel during a cold New Zealand winter. :) One of our favorite memories.
Oh, and this just in: we bought two round trip tickets to Maui last week! #abundantjoy
He's the guy that gives me wings. He is willing to take the girls for hours at a time so I can fly and have new opportunities. He sacrifices for me always. I am about to begin a new adventure and help with the choreography of the Jordan River Temple Cultural Celebration. He didn't even think twice about whether or not I should have this opportunity.
He is my partner in life and makes me a better person. He taught me how to communicate (seriously though) in a romantic relationship. He values time with me every day when he comes home from work, and he tells me he loves me every single day. He sincerely with all his heart thinks I am beautiful and tells me often. Sometimes he will just stare at me and tell me I am only growing more beautiful with age. (I'm totally okay with hearing him say that.)
Also, he makes me laugh. I love his sarcasm and sense of humor and the way his mind thinks.
So why is it that sometimes, we forget what we are most grateful for? Social media can be so fun and relaxing, but can it rob you of happiness if you let it? I know it can. I was reminded of another experience regarding Valentine's Day years ago. We were probably only married for one or two years, and I saw something (again on social media) that my friend's husband had done for her. It was outrageous (and awesome)! He went all out renting a room on top of a building, making a romantic candle-lit dinner, decorating the floor with rose petals and I can't even remember what else. I was sad that year that my expectations for the national day of love were not met and this post made me all the more sad in the moment. Yes, I know it was foolish to feel that way but I am just being real. A few years later, that couple got a divorce. Life is rarely as perfect as it may seem on social media. It was a powerful lesson for me.
After being sad for a little while yesterday, I chose to continue focusing outward. I delivered treats and love to my neighbors and the young women I serve in my ward. I babysat my little nephew so my sister could go on a dinner date with her husband. I had a beautiful day, because I celebrated those in my life who I love. And there is beauty in that.
I choose happiness. I choose to find joy in love and service and gratitude. Allow for so much gratitude! If you are unhappy, I encourage you to focus on all the good in your life. Hold onto it.
Arrows out, baby. :)
Jon is taking me out for sushi tomorrow night, and I love him. Love your life, Friends. All of it. Blossom where you are planted, focus on gratitude, and see if you can live your own fairy tale.
